The majority of people are most familiar with eros, the Greek word for a romantic, sensual love. While this love has the potential to be shallow when a person fails to move past the stage of physical attraction, it manifests itself in a complete way when a person sees the beauty within in addition to physical beauty (Wuest). In this form, eros represents an example of a love that is passionate and true. While examining the presence of eros in my friends’ relationships with their boyfriends, one friend in particular comes to mind. My friend loved her boyfriend so much from the moment they met. However, I am still convinced that he initially only wanted her for the physical aspect of eros, not always treating her with the respect that she deserved. However, as time went on, I witnessed a change in him as he came to love her for who she was inside, as opposed to just her physical attributes. Since this transformation, I have seen him be much more supportive than in the past, as a way of expressing his appreciation for her inner and outer beauty, the most complete form of eros. I would not say “I love you” when the eros is felt only at the physical level. When you realize your love for a boyfriend or girlfriend goes into the other’s soul, then I would consider saying “I love you” allowing the words to hold great meaning.
Two types of non-romantic, genuine love in the Greek language include storge and philia. While storge represents the love of family for its members, specifically parents for children, philia represents friendship and helping others in the community (Wuest). Both of these loves require commitment and are very strong. Parents can show this type unconditional love for their children through verbal expressions and sacrifices that often go unnoticed. My parents express storge to me in so many ways, even through small actions, such as picking up my laundry each week and doing it for me so that I can spend more time on schoolwork and activities without having to worry about this extra task. Also, my mom brings baked goods for me each time she drops off the clean laundry. They show their storge through actions as well as words, consistently saying I love you. Children need to tell their parents more often how much they appreciate their loving presence. Parents give their children the gift of life; a powerful act with much magnitude and sacrifice, paralleling God’s gift of life for us through the death of his son Jesus. While I make sure to tell my parents each time I talk to them on the phone, I love you; I may not always remember to say it even though I always feel it. Neither parent nor child can be reminded of this storge too much by remembering to say I love you at unexpected moments.
Philia on the other hand represents a love of neighbor, community, and friend. This is the love I can relate to the most. It encompasses one’s desire to help another, and to cherish friendship (Wuest). I often wonder if I love too freely in this sense because I love making connections with people. If I can relate to an individual in a deep way, whether it be my close circle of friends, people I see during my activities, or those I meet doing service even for a brief time, if I am a better person for having spent time with them, think it’s ok to say “I love you.” If my actions constitute a relationship where I can not only take but also give back, this utterance holds weight and meaning. I do not have to see the person everyday to know the community I want to keep alive by saying I love you, the principle of philia.
Finally, the greatest form of love in the Greek language is agape, what many describe as the love of God in human form; therefore, it is a sacrificial love. This is a love of all people despite their flaws and weaknesses; hence the most difficult type where we are called to love even our enemies like Jesus did (Wuest). This love can actually be applied to any situation whether it be between significant others, parents and children, friends, or strangers. This is a selfless love that means putting others’ needs before one’s own, often exemplified by the commandment, love your neighbor as yourself. Agape is can be hard to live and to understand, as people sometimes struggle to love themselves and to look beyond themselves to extend their gifts and energy to humanity. I will now circle back to the beginning of this essay, where I describe myself on a typical day as saying I love you to acquaintances who I encounter while passing by. While this love does not necessarily need to be stated, it is in my heart and felt between me and humanity. However, I do not think it can hurt to say it either. Ultimately, agape is a love based in action, realizing the magnitude of challenging yourself to love when it is not easy.
While considering this topic, I thought I was going to make an argument for why I had to narrow the amount of people to whom I said I love you because that meant that I did not give the word enough significance. However, after examining the Greek words for love, I do not think this is necessarily true. While saying I love you to a romantic partner should be reserved for when one enters the stage of inner beauty in eros, no one can ever say I love you too much, when seeing the sentiment as a general love for family and for humanity.
Sources
Wuest, Kenneth S. "The Words for "Love" in the Greek New Testament by Dr. KennethS.
Wuest." Theologue.org - Biblical and Theology Studies. Web. 18 Apr. 2010.
-Katie V.
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